Coping

Hey there!  How is everybody!  Hopefully everyone is doing okay, and healthy and safe.  I just wanted to stop in and share some encouragement for all of us who are struggling right now.  So grab a cuppa, and find that comfy spot and I’ll share what I’m thinking.

The last couple of years have been really hard, and especially the past seven months.  I’ve hit some new lows during that time.  God’s grace is amazing… I didn’t quit.  I didn’t give up.  I didn’t give in to the temptation to crawl back into a beer bottle and curl up in the corner and whimper.  God kept me.

So, what can we do to cooperate with the grace of God to help us through the rough times?

First and foremost, don’t isolate.  It’s tempting from several angles to withdraw from everyone and everything when we’re hurting or life seems to be impossible.  Don’t do it.  Reach out to others.  I was drowning, and I knew it.  So I reached out for life preservers.  People who would pray me through the tough spots.  People I could cry with.  People I could be raw and honest with.  It’s okay to be needy sometimes.  We are human and weak at our best.  Life can knock us right off our feet and it’s okay to need others to help us hold on.

Second, get a perspective of truth.  The world and the storms we weather can have winds that shout about how hopeless it is, how worthless we are, how helpless we are, and that it’s never going to be okay.  Those things are lies.  Pure and simple.  The truth is this:  There is always hope if we’re still alive.  We are worthy of belief in ourselves even if it appears that no one else does.  We are not helpless, there is always one more thing we can do.  It will be okay sooner or later.

The Scriptures are the bedrock.  God is a God of hope and has promised to sustain us.  He has placed incredible value and worth on us simply because we are His creation and His children.  Even if we are helpless, He is surely not!  He has all power and all knowledge.  He’s not surprised, not without options or plans.  He has good plans for you that He is actively working out.  He is able!  He has plans for our future full of hope.

Third, we must tell ourselves the truth and allow others to tell us those same truths.  God knew before I was born that I would be right here, right now.  He is not surprised.  Although it seems dark to me, even the darkness is as bright as day to Him.  He has a plan for me that is good.  He loves me.  He will never leave me nor forsake me.  He is able to do far more than I could even dare to think.  He will provide all my needs.  References to look up for these would be Psalm 139, Jeremiah 29:11, Hebrews 13:5, Nehemiah 9:31, Ephesians 3:20, Philippians 4:19.

Every time the hopeless or negative thoughts come in, counter them with truth.  I would tell myself, “It feels hopeless.  But the truth is that God is right here.  The truth is that He didn’t bring me this far to drop me on my head!  The truth is He isn’t mad at me, hasn’t left me, isn’t unaware.  The truth is He has a plan for me and it is good.  The truth is He loves me and is actively working for my best.  The truth is that He has never failed me and will not fail me this time. ”

Fourth, keep the truth in front of us.  I have things on the fridge.  On the nightstand.  On the walls.  It’s part of my decor, but also part of notes I purposely put on the fridge.  I have the truth that God will provide all my needs (Philippians 4:19) printed above the signature line of my checks.

Fifth, prayer is vital.  Pray out the worries and concerns.  Give them to God, even if you have to do it every 10 seconds.  Pray the Scriptures to get the truth more firmly embedded into your heart.  Tell God what the Word says, “Lord, Your Word says You will never leave me nor forsake me.  I choose to believe that truth.  Strengthen that truth in my heart.”

Finally, reach out to your pastor or priest.  Let them into your life.  Allow them to know your struggles so they can pray for you!  Don’t try to go it alone.  Reach out to people you can connect with.  You can help them, too, by telling them the truths you know.  That helps both of you!

 

Suspense

Hey there!  How is everybody?  Hope all y’all are healthy and doing well.  I have exciting news:  I started a job on Tuesday!!!   Grab a cuppa and find a comfy spot and I’ll share my news, and my newest line:  “If you can stand the suspense, God will write a great story for you!”

Most of y’all know that I moved to Ohio for four years to get my Bachelor’s degree, then God called me to come back to KC after graduation.  The timing was crazy in every respect…  I loved Ohio.  I loved my 100 year old Victorian house.  I had a job I loved.  A church I loved.  Then things quietly started to fall apart as God pushed me out of my “nest”.  The house sold and closed in 2 weeks, on December 31.

The logistics were insane.  I had college boys load the trailer, then had to hire a professional company to unload and reload it.  Two rental houses fell through so I arrived in KC with all my stuff on a truck someplace en route, and lived in a hotel (on points, so it was free) for a week, then at a local retreat center for a few days while I was guided to my house.  

A few weeks later, COVID shut everything down.  God provided.  I got a temp job in April that paid enough for me to bank a couple of months rent before it ended.  But again, nobody was hiring in May.  Or June.  Or July.   I was struggling with anxiety and depresssion, in spite of my best efforts to trust God to provide as He always has.  Then came the stimulus check, followed by my tax refunds. My unemployment finally came through with the extra $600, which I collected for about four weeks.  God provided one month at a time in a different way each month.  

During the thick of it, we weren’t even able to go to Church.  Losing that support was rough, online just isn’t the same!  Finally, we could go back.  We wear masks the entire time, but at least we can receive communion.  I clung to God by my fingernails, constantly repeating the truth of His love, mercy and provision to myself even when I was in the middle of a panic attack.  It was a very rough seven months.  I had so many people praying for me!  I know those prayers are all that carried me through.  

The house next door went up for sale, and how I wanted to buy it!  It has a huge fenced yard, perfect for a grandson to play in and for a dog.  That wasn’t God’s plan; I couldn’t secure financing.  With not even an interview on the horizon, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.  Go through every single job board e-mail and send out resumes.  Don’t spend a penny, don’t go anywhere (it’s all closed anyway) just sit alone in your place and keep telling yourself the truth that God is not surprised and has this well under control.

By mid July I was extremely discouraged, anxious and depressed.  I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.    

On Wednesday evening, I got a call from a friend who wanted to take me to church and then treat me to dinner, just get me out of the house.  I gratefully accepted.  Then I received a call from a recruiter I didn’t know.  By Thursday afternoon she had an interview set up for me on Friday.  This job was application number 104.  Yes, one hundred and four job apps in seven months.  I had two amazing interviews on Friday, and was offered the job on Saturday afternoon.  There were lots of “God fingerprints” all over this…  long story, but I’m confident I’m where I’m supposed to be.  It’s going to be great!  

Oh, and the house next door?  The new landlord is renting the side I wanted to me at $50 less than my current rent, and told me I need a dog!  So, I’m moving next month.  

Interestingly enough, the depression and anxiety didn’t just vanish into thin air.  I suppose my body chemicals need some time to catch up.  So, I rested a lot this weekend.  Had dinner with a friend.  Slept a lot.  And that’s okay. 

How about you?  Are you in the long dark tunnel?  Struggling to pay the rent and put food on the table?  Can’t figure out where God is, or if He even knows you exist?  Find a pastor or priest.  They can help you connect with God and possibly some material resources to help get you through.  You’re gonna make it!  If you can weather the suspense, God will write an amazing story in your life!

 

Jesus Serves Us

Hey there!  Hope all y’all are doing well!  It’s been such a crazy year, this 2020.  Find a comfy spot and grab a cuppa and let’s talk about the very real mercy and provision of God for our daily needs.

I’ve talked a lot recently about anxiety.  It’s something I hadn’t struggled with for a decade, but it came back with a vengeance!  I’m working with a doctor and am taking my prescribed meds as directed.  There is nothing the the Bible or Church teaching that says not to!  We are physical beings and sometimes our physical needs a little help in its fallen state.

With the major cross country move, the lack of a job, the COVID-19 pandemic and now the world wide racial riots and unrest, it’s no wonder I’m struggling.  Many others are struggling, too.  I’m working triple overtime trying to find a job, trying to stay safe and healthy and trying to stay focused on God’s goodness, mercy and provision for my daily needs.  Scripture is my bedrock that never changes and is always there to remind me that God hasn’t left me, even when the physical anxiety is threatening to knock me down again.

I’m in a Zoom Bible study doing “1000 Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  Tonight this question was raised:  “Describe a time when you were profoundly aware that Jesus was at work serving you.”  That was a new way to look at some things!

I thought back to the move and how He has provided, albeit not as I would have liked.  My version would have been to sell the Ohio house at a good profit, buy a house here free and clear and have a good job waiting.  When I arrived homeless and jobless, He provided a free hotel on accumulated points for awhile, then free lodging with a retreat center I used to volunteer at.  While all I could see was rentals falling through, He ultimately provided the right house in the right area of town, even though I did not qualify for the rent amount.  While I was upset about not owning a home for the first time in my life, He matched me with a management company who has been very responsive to my needs and requests.

He provided a one-month temp job that carried me through three months.  When I needed a doctor, He led me to a wonderful doc whose visit and lab rates are extremely affordable; she has an onsite pharmacy that provides my Rx needs at a fraction of the cost of a regular pharmacy, as well as a program to get my most expensive diabetes med for free.  She is also well versed in depression and anxiety.  The Lord “served” me by connecting us.

One of the ladies in the Bible study group gave me the book and the devotional.  One of them sends me cards or checks on me to be sure I’m okay.  Another one tonight told me she would buy my book for the next study we will be doing.  Our pastor let me make an appointment to go to confession, then gave me the Eucharist privately.  Jesus is serving me through my church.

My daughter has brought me dinner a couple of times just to say hi.  She invited me over for Mother’s Day, then again for Memorial Day so I wouldn’t be alone. She loaned me an old computer that at least has a good camera for any future video interviews.  She’s totally unaware, but she is being Jesus serving me.  My other daughter took me for a weekend to Branson, Missouri, for my birthday in late February.  She and her man fed me, entertained me, loved me.  It was such a wonderful and refreshing time.  They were Jesus serving me.

Another friend of the family needs someone to do some limited data entry work; that will help bridge the gap between jobs.  I have a job interview on Monday.  I stumbled across my great test scores on the Indeed job board today.  These all give me hope when I was getting pretty discouraged and feeling unemployable.  Jesus is serving me.

How about you?  Do you know His provision, His mercy, His ‘service’ for you?  The greatest service He has done for all of us is when God Himself became a human being, born of an earthly mother.  He lived a perfect life, taught us about God and His ways, then died a horrible death to take the penalty for our rebellion.  He never leaves us, never fails us.  If you don’t have a relationship with Him, find a pastor or priest.  They can help you get acquainted with Him.  Find other people to connect with.   We are the way He serves others.  Others are the way He serves us.

Isolation

Hey there!  Yeah, I know.  Two in one night, and I need to be in bed asleep… but drinking Diet Soda too late in the day has me up…  Grab another cuppa and find that comfy spot again.  I promise this will be quick, lightly edited and then I will crawl into bed.  Or something.  😉

Jesus, Where Are You?

Hey there!  How is everybody?  It’s been a tough season, but I’ve some things to share with all y’all.  Grab a cuppa your favorite beverage, find a comfy spot and let’s talk.  Oh – you may not need them, but I have a box of tissues next to me.   Just in case.

Bubbles

Hey, y’all!   How’s everybody doing?  Hopefully you’re enjoying your first taste of summer.  It was actually cold here yesterday – in June!  I needed a sweater, and my neighbor brought over some homemade vegetable soup.  Last week it was 93.  Grab a cuppa something hot or cold, depending on what you’re thirsty for, and find a comfy spot to relax a minute.  Small town life is just like I imagined, and yet completely different.  Going to college has been just like I imagined, and also totally